When we first started our adoption journey, we were very set on a closed adoption. We didn't want to "share" parenting responsibilities with two other people. In order to get a home study, we were required to attend 10 hours of adoption training. Part of this training was listening to an adoptee panel and a birth parent panel. Our eyes and our hearts were opened to the concept of an open adoption. It isn't about sharing the parental responsibilities, it is about what is best for the child.
We also learned about the adoption triangle. The triangle includes the birth parents, the adoptive parents, and the adoptee. The most important person in that entire triangle is the adoptee. Everyone should be rallying around the child and loving them. This helps the adoptee to know where they came from and what their story is.
For us as the adoptive parents, having an open line of communication has been an amazing experience. Here is a list of amazing benefits from an open adoption:
- We can ask questions (medical history, patterns with birth siblings, etc)
- Our adoptive child with always know who her birth parents are and what they are like.
- Our adoptive child will be able to understand from her birth parents why she was placed for adoption.
- Allows the adoptee to still be a part of the birth parents' lives - this is huge!! For most birth parents, placing a child for adoption is a difficult choice and causes pain and sadness. Our adoptive child can FaceTime with her birth parents. This helps them so much with overcoming these feelings. They love having a relationship with her.
Closed adoptions are slowly becoming less and less common as both adoptive parents and birth parents recognize how open adoption affects the child is a positive way. We wouldn't change anything about our adoption and love our daughter's sweet birth family!
Makell and Orion
ACF Adoptions is a licensed, private adoption agency that has provided professional adoption services to birth mothers, adoptive parents, and children since 1992.